Flam News

Ariel and Mee She

2008-03-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

Have a listen.

Click here.

Happy Purim Everyone

(Mag, send me more pics)

Our Vacation so Far

2008-02-29T04:46:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been awhile since we've used the old Flam News. But why not?

Sim got his salami and my clothes have smelled better (kidding) but we did arrive safely to Ben Gurion at 3:30 a.m. on Tuesday.

Both of us forgot "the third bag." I clearly had a vision of it in my head on the luggage cart. Amazing how sleep deprivation will do that. We had spent two nights in a row on airplanes. Sunday night we took off, woke up in Zurich, spent Monday there, then were back on the plane to Tel Aviv Monday night 10:45 pm.

The Swiss are very prompt. There are clocks everywhere. It made me crazy. Seriously.

We got the third bag the next day. Spent quality time with Leesa and Michael.

Here are a couple of pics. ALL the Gorens, minus Ellie, are coming to Yerush for Shabbas. We're hosting! The mousse cake weighs more than Sim.

See our fridge.

I'll try to get pics up of the concert. But check out this one, notice the spelling.

You do know, right, that Mark (Aba) is on tour. And Meira Merlis, Rachelle's sister, is playing comedy clubs in Yerushalayim. More on all that later.

Good Shabbas and love to all,

Mom

The 60th Anniversary Party

2007-11-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

It was billed as:

Buba and Grampa’s

(Sid and
Sarah’s)

60th Wedding Anniversary Poetry Contest

And the poems WERE good, and the food was great (Shallots). We all sat around a grand square table so we could see one another. Guests included:
Buba & Grampa
Aunt Tammy & Uncle David
Aaron, Jake, Brian, and Abby
Dovid & Chammie,
Safta & Aunt Leesa,
Mom & Aba (no pic because I hated the only one there was on my camera) He looked good, tho.

Grampa toasted first, then Buba followed, then Uncle David gave us some family history and quizzed us about the prices of homes in 1947, the year that the 'rents got married. 1947 also, little known fact, was the year that Uncle Barry was born, although Dave left that part out, didn't know it at the time.

And I think I learned that one of the parakeets we had when I was a kid was named. . .Beno. The other was Cecil.

We ate and sang to to tunes of Say a Little Prayer . ..Forever, forever, you'll stay in our hearts and we love you, . . .Lots of underwear jokes, coming to the door in underwear, that sort of thing.

Aba's rendition of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady was hysterical.

Aaron offered up

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I love my grandparents and you should, too

Dovid's limericks will be posted another time, as will the rest of the words to the rest of the stuff. Sim AND Beno both sent poems and they were great, well appreciated.

Brian promises to post on Schayerness! so someone please remind him to keep it clean. Oh wait, it's Bri. No problem.

And that's all the news. Wish you were there. Did I mention the food?

If You Miss HH

2007-07-12T03:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from our OVER-A-WEEK-TOGETHER.

It was great. Thanks yac/RAC and special thanks to Hannah Honey, you get it or you don't.

Dovid & Chammie's Graduation

2007-05-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the video.

Dovid and Chamster's graduation

2007-05-21T19:23:00.001-07:00

It rocked. You have to read Dovid's blog to read more on how much it rocked. Or mine. But here are some pix:

pics from pesach so far

2007-04-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0WMW7B2ps3g/RhhalH3ggJI/AAAAAAAAALc/fGwjOCE7gv0/s320/elanStickerBook.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5050886575909535890" />
Well, we're all really stuffed. No matter how much running around we do during chol hamoed there's no getting around that matzah. Here a couple of pics so far. Those that are not in my living room are from the Kohl Children's Museum.
Chag Sameach, more when Hannah Honey comes to Chicago!

May The Mail Be With You

2007-03-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the newest promotion from the USPS? They have mailboxes all around the country painted to look like R2-D2. It's really, really cute. Here's one we found on the Studio City Walk of Fame (no kidding).

Hollywood Goes Religious, Again

2007-03-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

Remember how I noted that Babel, a film about the divisiveness of language which took its title from the "Tower of," came out the day before Shabbos Parshas Noach?

Well, now comes The Reaping, a Hilary Swank vehicle about the ten plagues occurring in a small Southern town. It opens on the Friday of Pesach, of course.

My Purim Shpiel

2007-03-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

For those who haven't seen it yet, here is the video segment of a Purim shpiel I worked on this year. (Sorry, I have no idea how to embed video.)

Enjoy!

Miryam & Yinon's Engagement Party

2007-03-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

This doesn't show anyone jumping out of a cake, but it's still fun.

Purim pics

2007-03-05T18:24:00.000-08:00

Just a couple of quickies from the American Idol Purim. I'll get video up soon.

Israel pics

2007-02-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

Hello Flam,

Are we OVER the Academy Awards? This is an official Mazal Tov to Chamster for getting into a psychology school, the Illinois School which is now Argosy. We're Berry Proud. (does anyone know where that came from, berry proud?)

Abs and I have been entertaining (not really) but enjoying having Avi here. He proves that the Cuban folk myth that if you want your child's hair to remain curly, you must not wash it. His hair remains nicely curled and we believe that his mother did indeed wash it when he was a kid. What in the world am I talking about? I had a family in therapy upset about a Cuban minhag of not washing a child's hair lest it become straight.

Just thought you should know in the interest of diversity.

Okay. We'll talk. Movies on YouTube to follow soon, but maybe not before Purim.

See some of you soon, A Freilichin Purim, Love, Mom

HH's 1st Birthday

2007-02-18T16:23:00.000-08:00

Just a couple of fun pics:

Hello Hello

2007-02-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

Hi guys,
I know I haven't done much in the way of blogging lately and I am sorry for being out of touch. I think it's because I stare at the computer for 8 eight hours straight every day and after that I pretty much don't even want to smell one until the next stretch. Such is life.

I AM doing lots of quality TV watching, though. That's going really well, and surprisingly my low tolerance for screens with flashing lights doesn't seem to apply. I know, you're all relieved.

In work news, my new site is finally up! If you haven't already, check it out at ronherman.com and then be sure to email and tell me how much you love me. I'm vulnerable right now, having exposed my work to millions of people for the first time ever.

The kids are great. Loving these ages. Yoni's great, if keeping late hours. He's happy about it at least.

I'll try to write more over the weekend. Love you all. Miss those of you who are extra far away.

In Israel

2007-02-14T13:23:00.001-08:00

Well, hello all. It's been some time since we talked. But that's a long trip, you know? Aba and I flew separately. I flew El Al, such a m'chaya, you get on and the pilot's speaking Hebrew, stumbling with the English when he deigns to translate (which isn't often) and you just KNOW he knows where he's going.

I was on a Christian tour trip and I think they thought me quite cute, asked questions like, where you from, who're you visiting, ever been to Is RAY el?, blah, blah. I tried to look like I was in prayer (had a book of tehillim in front of me) but that only made things worse. You read that from right to left or left to right. Down to up, I say. (nah)

But these are my people, the ones who made my research possible. My stop was in Toronto, only an hour away, but I didn't call Mozel. (Mom, Dad, Mozel Kanner, Julie's cousin, always used to call us when she stopped in at Ohare on her way to ski in Colorado).

Aba went British Air and since I haven't really had five minutes alone with him since we got here, I have no idea how that went. all i know is he ate well.

Sim looks and acts just great, he's such a wonderful kid.

I've had a great time catching up with friends. I saw my two best friends in Yerushalayim, Ronda (am staying in her apartment a second night) and Riki Freudenstein. Ronda I already mentioned in an email, is doing well and lives right across from the Jerusalem theater, on the same block as the President of Israel. So the view and the neighborhood are amazing.

Riki has a son who was friends with Simcha when we lived here, so the six of us, Riki, her husband George, her son Shmuel, Mark, Me and Sim went out for dinner. It was really great.

I hadn't warned her that I was coming and was afraid to call her, thinking it a chutzpa just dropping back into her life like that, but she was thrilled. Here's why.

Just two days ago she had been cleaning her apartment and found a couple of birthday cards and a letter I had written to her over the years. She mentioned it to George, who, by the way, has retired at the ripe old age of 54 or 55.

George who said, Well, my great uncle (or someone, I'm making this part up a little) used to say (someone did say) that if you hear something or find something or something reminds you of someone you haven't seen in a very long time, well that means that you're going to see that person soon.

Two days later, yesterday, I called her. I said, "Hi Riki, it's Linda."

She looks at her caller I.D. and doesn't understand. In Israel the caller I.D. is an Israel cell phone number, not the one I gave all of you.

"Where!?#" she asks,

"In Yerushalayim."

"NO WAY!"

So it was pretty amazing catching up. She brought the cards with her. She works with victims of terror, finds help for them and gives them emotional support. It's all charity work. I'm trying to get her to write about it.

Tomorrow my niece (or your cousin) Miryam the Kalah will pick me up, since she goes to archetecture school at Betzalel, here in Yerush, and we'll go to Petach Tikva to spend the next few days with the Gorens. Hopefully Aba will meet me to help set up the engagement party tomorrow night. Then Friday we go to Hertzlia to spend Shabbas.

I still have to call Tootsie (she prefers Chaya). She lives no where close and it is a very big town, and I left her number in my suitcase at Leesa's. But I'll get to her.

Have a great Shabbas all, Love, Mom

In Israel

2007-02-14T13:23:00.000-08:00

Turtle TV is BACK!!!

2007-02-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

But it will take a full 11 minutes. And no fast forwarding.

July 21st

2007-02-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

... is when the final Harry Potter book comes out!
Woo hoo!

Waking Up

2007-01-31T14:01:00.000-08:00

Actual exchange from early this morning:

Me: "Hey, last night, I dreamt I was in Grease Academy."
Rachelle: "Wow! I dreamt that we were the finalists in American Idol!"
(pause)
Me/Rachelle: (in unison) "We have got to stop watching so much TV."

No one's blogging anymore?

2007-01-30T18:43:00.000-08:00

Hey, where is everyone?

Well, Aba and I went to an opera last night, Puccini's Turandot and it was simply unbelievably good, spectacular sets, voices, orchestra, music, and costumes, so many costumes. read the review on my blog

In other news there was a 60th anniversary party for Aunt Goldie and Uncle Max that I missed on Sunday (work, work, work).

BUT Aba and I do intend to make the bris for Rissell and Baruch Russell's new little tyke. Rissell's a Kalman and it's always fun catching up with that side of the family.

Oh, and Safta MOVED. Give her a call on her cell phone to wish her mazal. Her land phone won't be on until Friday. It was very stressful for her. 773-209-1022.

Other than that?

I'm still hacking away and sleeping upright. Week two. Anyone else have a health complaint?

Love, Mom

Making Mixes

2007-01-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

I know you kids have IPods, but us old folks don't need more noise in our heads.

So I buy from ITunes and burn CD's. If you want the latest, let me know. I'm taking orders. It costs me nothing still I won't be insulted if you don't want one! I know some of you (live on Burbank) will like it. The showtunes are from the original Broadway productions except for a couple of lame Billy Joel songs that just made me want to have them.

Here it is:

1. She's Got a Way- Billy Joel
2. Always a Woman to Me- Billy Joel
3. New York, New York- Tony Bennett
4. I Could Have Danced All Night- Julie Andrews, My Fair Lady
5. I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face- Rex Harrison, My Fair Lady
6. And I love her-The Beatles
7. Maybe This Time- Cabaret
8. I Still Believe- Miss Saigon
9. I Like the Way I Feel- Barbra-Yentl
10. Papa Can You Hear Me- Barbra- Yentl
11. With One More Look at You- Barbra- A Star is Born
12. Tonight- West Side Story
13. If He Walked Into My Life Today- Mame
14. I'd Do Anything for you, Dear- Oliver
15. As Long As He Needs Me- Oliver
16. Who Will Buy- Oliver
17. To Dream the Impossible Dream, Man of Lamancha
18. It Only Takes a Moment (for your eyes to meet and then)- Hello Dolly

All I can say is, this is a fabulous CD if I do say so myself.

Lines are open. Have a great Shabbas everyone, Love, Mom

Purim

2007-01-24T19:52:00.000-08:00

Masks? Costumes? What's going on? I'm so excited. I need to know!

Abs and I are thinking of coming to Valley Village for Purim where we hear there's a City Council execution of Haman and Sons. Is it true? We're so excited. What's going on? We hear this Haman and Sons sell shoes, or was that Mens Clothing over on Van Nuys Blvd.

We're aware most of you are trying to recover from the evil virus perpetrated upon many, many Jews within the past two weeks. But we hope that you can rise to your feet and scream out, Yes, Parents! We want you to visit us. We hear that Jet Blue flies into Irvine for a prayer and you can rent a car and no one will have to put anyone out ever again.

Right?

We'd come in on Thursday, the fast day, maybe take a red-eye Sunday night or leave Monday a.m.

The Virus

2007-01-18T15:54:00.000-08:00

The novel virus (to which we all seemed to be immunilogically naive) that started with Ariel has yet to be identified. Syndromically, it seems to be a typical viral upper respiratory infection, not strep (which is bacterial), not influenza. I ran an influenza-A test on myself a little while ago and it was negative (certainly not worth the lobotomizing effect of sticking that swab WA-A-AY up my nose). At any rate, it's too late to take Tamiflu even if it were influenza.

The attack rate appears to be 100%. Both I and my wife have it -- we slept miserably last night, and she actually collapsed from weakness this morning. She's somewhat better now with hydration. Yacov, I understand missed 2 days' work, and I can hear Rachelle coughing in the backround, but she's too busy attending to a miserable little HH (as well as Yacov) to take off. Beno has it and may have passed it to Dovid and Chammie.

Hopefully, gallons of green snot are no longer spewing from Ariel's little nostrils. If he recovered in 3-4 days, maybe the rest of us will, too, though I've seen viral epidemics within a family become more and more virulent with each successive victim.

This too shall pass, and we may all be a little stronger for having gone through it (at least we'll have a new clone of B-cells available for this particular strain). I for one would prefer a little less germ warfare at our next visit.

PS -- I'm going out to play B-ball tonight. Even though I feel like crap. Gotta stay on schedule.

ABA

My visits to Florida and L.A.

2007-01-15T17:35:00.000-08:00

Just a few pics. Basically, it was WARM in Miami, COLD in L.A., but the glow of the family welcome (aw) heated me up just fine. Here you go.

Our glorious vacation

2007-01-09T03:32:00.000-08:00

Well, what can I say? The difference between Miami and Chicago has so much to do with the words, green, pink, orange.

Sure, Chicago has been mild and wonderful for Chicago in the winter, and Aba and I even ride our bikes to work, but we were in need of ocean and flowers that didn't come from Jewel.

If you want to hear about the trip so far, go to my blog and read. I'm attaching a photo of Buba and Grampa, a bird and an alligator here, however.

They're looking good.

Shuki!

2007-01-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna start giving regular reports on our little star -- let's kick it off with this one.

The ROSE BOWL

2007-01-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

Just for fun, click on this one.

Photos of Rose Bowl Queens since 1911.

They're tzniut, don't worry, but don't read any farther. If you do, you'll read more about the blogger's privates than you might care to.

Except, well, now that I think about it, Dad, you might like it.

Love to all.

Look Who Just Woke Up!

2007-01-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

Mr. Lucas and I

2006-12-30T18:38:00.000-08:00

Which one of us looks more thrilled to be there?

Also worth noting -- a British SW fansite recently interviewed me about my blog. Go there, scroll down, and click on my face if you want to read.
Blimey!

A little Flam News

2006-12-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

Bad news: Uncle Dave's basement flooded and is requiring SERIOUS work. Meaning more money will be sunk into that thing than a year at Northwestern.

Good news: Okay, it's Buba and Grampa Lorber's anniversary.
Call them at 305-466-1714 on Thurs. Dec 27. They're married 59 years.

Bad news: My house is a mess and I don't want to deal with it. Also, apparently some people heard from the Bean, but I didn't get his email. I'm sure I'm considered a subversive in Thailand because their bloggers and I communicate (it's true)

Good news: Dovid and Chammie are here!!!!! We went to a movie!!!!! It made me so sleepy I felt like my dad at the movies (History Boys, needed almost an hour's worth of chopping, could have been great, music was WONDERFUL) They also come to visit in the evening and we have breakfast!!!!!!

And finally, Best news: Helen's coming tomorrow. I think. :)

Oh, and the link below now works, if you want to hear some of Aba's recital for his siyum.

Aba's Siyum

2006-12-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

Well, he was fantastic. Here's some of the concert.

Question

2006-12-24T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

I'm thinking of posting links to all of your blogs (well, Margo's, Aba's, and Mom's, at the very least... Duv's if he wants, as well) on my Star Wars blog. My regular readers might get a kick out of it, and frankly, I think all of your blogs deserve as much publicity as they can get.

So... should I?

Anyway, here's HH's best deer-in-the-headlights look:

3 for 3

2006-12-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

Won the WBBM Smart Quiz again today.
Who needs a watch?

[Helped a little to ameliorate the feeling of worthlessness after my patient in the hospital croaked.]

Any news from Singapore?

Yummy!

2006-12-19T20:31:00.000-08:00

Well, the vacation has come and gone. And as the saying goes, now I need a vacation. Zing!

But I did a lot of fun stuff, such as seeing Beno in San Diego and seeing Rachelle direct her sister's play after getting laryngitis (sp?). First she acts without a voice, now she directs without a voice... it's crazy, I tells ya!

And speaking of crazy, here's the cake she made for my birfday:

You can't tell from this pic, but even the actual cake inside was green. Star Wars cannibalism!

No problem blogging here . . .

2006-12-10T11:44:00.000-08:00

Happy birthdays, Boys.

(That's all.)

2006-12-10T03:52:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

You may have trouble logging into Flam News. I got sucked into the hype and switched to Blogger on Beta, almost lost my blog in the process. I still have no idea what the advantage is. If anyone knows, let me know. But I have a feeling that you all will have to make this change.

You are mainly going to be logging in with an email account, whichever that is. I don't think you need a gmail account, but you might. Hope not, seriously.

So I apologize in advance for the confusion. I feel we may have to start a whole new blog if it gets too weird, but hopefully we can all make it through the transition.

Aba and I saw the new Christopher Guest movie on Purim, For Your Consideration and thought it hysterical if a little weird. We went with the Novick's who liked it, too. Mom and Dad, you'll find it too silly for your taste, I guarantee it.

Today's a busy work day for us in Chi-town. Then I'm going to clean house and start baking for Aba's siyum, Tuesday Dec 19 at 7:30. I didn't send out invites or call, so if you're here reading this and we mentioned it, consider yourself expected to be there or be square. It means you're a chavrusa, a relative, or that you can see the set-up of one of Aba's puns coming a mile away.

Have a good week, love, Mom

My Week

2006-12-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

I've been out of touch. That's because I've been busy. If you're curious, here's what's I'm working on:

-- This Shabbos is Parshas Vayishlach, so I'm gonna attempt something I haven't tried in fifteen years: the Haftorah. Since I don't possess the layning skills of any of my three brothers (or Safta), this took some studying. As of right now, I feel okay about it. (Of course, this could all be for naught. A year ago I also prepared the Haftorah, and the gabbai forgot to give it to me.)

-- In baby news, HH has done a 180 and now loves the bath. And what does she love doing in the bath? Splashing. Splash splash splash. I get soaked, but she's so stinkin' adorable that it's impossible to get upset. To wit:

-- In Rac news, she's been at rehearsal every night this week, for hours on end. Her play is this weekend, so I guess they need to work out the kinks. Then on Monday, she goes off to Atlanta to work on her sister's play, which debuts next weekend. Between all this, she's writing a play for a local high school, a frum spoof on West Side Story... and I've penned more than a few scenes for it, as well.

-- I've also been working a lot. It's still dark when I get there in the morning, and it's usually dark by the time I leave. I have all of next week off, though that wasn't exactly my choice. Apparently, there's a "tradition" at my new show where directors are asked to take some unpaid time off during the weeks after sweeps. Of course, I wasn't told about this in time to make any good vacation plans out of it. I won't even get to spend it with the wife and kid, since they'll be in Atlanta. (I join them on Thursday for the weekend.) But I will have a chance to meet Beno in San Diego, who will be holed up for a few days to attend a conference. So that should be fun.

-- I also plan to see Happy Feet a second time, buy a new filing cabinet, and file around seven months worth of mail and documents.

-- Back to this week: I managed to squeeze in seeing one movie on DVD, The Witches of Eastwick. It was very, very strange... unsure if it was a comedy, a drama, or a low-grade horror film. But it did fit pretty well with my overall theory of George Miller movies, which made me happy. Next up: Lorenzo's Oil.

The Spider Video

2006-12-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

I feel that this one is inspirational and blogged about it. Here's the direct link.

A Spider in West Rogers Park

It's my first real music video. You have to wait about half a minute for the song. If you have a minute (for Dovid's sake, too) get yourselves a YouTube account. It's very easy. Then you can rate his videos and ours, too.

Have a great week everyone, Love, Mom

Hi

2006-11-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd say that. Aba's out playing Jewish Rock and Roll and I made a soup and a side dish for Shabbas in anticipation of something of a crowd.

Ruchie is out of town (Israel) so Meish and Chana are coming for dinner. So are 3 Bekritsky's and maybe 3 Wengrows, add Safta and we have a dinner party.

This has been a busy work week, an actual full week! It was also a week of self-disclosure on my blog, which is about to end for awhile. Too emotional. I'm sticking to what to do if your spouse has finally stopped using cocaine and you're still really, really mad at him. T-G we don't have these problems in our family.

or do we

Nah.

In other news, Yac sent me this pic of HH today and I have to share it.

She's had a haircut, which is good, since until you've seen that kid's eyes you have not experienced the greatest pleasure in life. Right YacRac?

It's true.

In other news, Safta's not moving at the end of the week. Instead she's waiting until the management moves her. In the meantime she's living out of boxes. My guess is this doesn't feel great. Lend emotional support, kids.

Grampa and Buba are looking good. Elan and Ariel are cute on Skype.

Oh! I hear a key in the lock! I'm going down to say howdy to Abs. That rhymes with snobs. He's soon to post about Abs which rhymes with grabs pretty soon on his Bunk Blog. Click on that, Mom, those two words prior to this sentence, "Bunk Blog", to read Mark's discussion about shoes.

Love to all,

Mom

Ouch

2006-11-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

I don't know how, but today at work, I hurt my back. It's the first time I can actually remember doing something like that... y'know, something which makes me feel old. And my birthday is next week, to help me keep things in perspective. Maybe Aba's right about that exercise thing.

Rachelle and I are in play mode right now, as she's in rehearsal most nights, and writing a Jewish-themed spoof of West Side Story during her limited free time.

Well, this is a crappy little post, aint it?

Post-Thanksgiving

2006-11-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
I know I haven't posted for awhile, but I HAVE commented. It seems when I am more creative at work, I wind up feeling less creative in, well, any other area. Including blogging, unfortunately, though I'm trying to get back in the swing of it.

Things are busy. Went to Oxnard for the weekend and was FREEZING the entire time. Nothing in our hotel room worked, including the heat, so I slept in every item of clothing I'd brought. And I refused to leave the room without my pajamas on under my skirt, the purple and pink knee-high arglye socks Mom gave me, and fuzzy boots. Add to that the myriad strange layers I wore instead of "shirt," and I walked around looking rather like a boho.

Or - like Mom, when it's under 95 outside ("BRRRR!").

I ate a lot, which made me both considerably warmer and fatter. I know, things are looking up.

LOVED "Happy Feet" on Sat. night, and Elan came away with it wanting to be an eagle or vulture instead of a penguin. Ariel came away wanting to know where THE HELL the donkey was, as in one scene, one character uses the term "daunting." This was probably the highlight of the weekend.

Sleeping in a pull-out bed with Sir Ariel was most certainly NOT. He likes to sleep horizontally, across a bed, with me as a pillow. Alternatively, he doesn't mind sticking his bare feet on my face and leaving them there once he's spun around in his sleep. He prefers waking at 5:45, yes, even (or especially! Free breakfast!) on vacation, and when he wakes, he likes to share the love by scratching my neck and face with his fingernails. Lovingly. And he gets terribly insulted when I ask him to stop.

Elan continues to overthink just about anything (see my latest OFAF blog) and fall asleep the second he hits the pillow.

And NOBODY. In all of Oxnard. Has ever heard of strawberry picking. So the plans we had for today, which were really formulated a year ago? OVER. So disappointed were we. We were told that strawberry picking with our children would be a HUGE liability for the strawberry industry, and when Yoni confusedly probed for what the hell that meant, he was quickly shut up by the hotel conceierge who just wanted us to TRUST HIM, IT WAS BAAAAD. Native beachcombers assured us that they, too, had never heard of such a thing as fruit picking in all of their years in Ventura County. Perhaps we meant fruit selling? Because there is a guy selling strawberries off the back of his truck up the road...

Yeah. That's where I'm at, too. The strawberry-field capital of the world does not allow you to pick any yourself.

Elan chocked it up to the possibility of being bitten by the Black Mamba snake he'd seen on the Discovery Channel.

I will probably have to repeat this blog on Of Fish and Family, now that I think about it. Sorry in advance!

Yet another new fish

2006-11-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

This one I didn't even get to see. Gulped down by the grouper (best $15 meal he ever had!). There's a lesson here somewhere . . .

a new fish

2006-11-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

by the way, I did go out to replace the Tang I murdered. Check it out on the therapy blog. yes, fish are therapeutic, you didn't know?

Lessons from a family therapist

the trip to Detroit

2006-11-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

Well, we had a nice trip to Baruch and Aliza's chasana, which was great (FOOD WAS FABULOUS, I think in general I'm not appreciating food nearly enough, but this was great, oriental shmorg with chopsticks and little cartons like take-out?!)

Aba picked me up from work around 11 a.m. on Sunday(Safta came with us). I laid down in the back seat, hoping to save my lower back (didn't happen) and closed my eyes while they chattered and I zoned out but couldn't sleep since I'd caffeinated up at 4. We split the driving into Detroit.

I had really dreaded this, worried about driving back late at night, hitting a deer, veering off the road, ending up in a ditch.

But it was safe and we returned sound I sang my lungs out since it was too dark and I was driving too fast to go through the CD's I'd shlepped along:

Old Beatles songs (really old ones) and Simon and Garfunckle (great medly, must make mix) until I got stuck on the lyric, "All come. .to look FOR America, All come. .to look FOR America" and the words trailed off and so did I, remembering when that vinyl album came out and how much I loved it.

See, Sim, your generation has a ways to go, I feel, when it comes to making truly great music.

When Aba could stand it no longer he took over the wheel (I would have manically driven home but knew he was right). Barely woke up to change into p.j.'s when we got home.

So am rested and since it's sunny, hope to ride into the office this afternoon.

Here are some pictures. NO, they're not great. In fact, well...

Turtle TV Webisode 3

2006-11-19T11:19:00.000-08:00

Webisode 3 is live on youtube! Click Here!

DF

PS, without sufficient demand, the show may be cancelled. No one would want that, so show your support!

Full Circle

2006-11-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

Don't anyone in the family miss today's StarWars Joke-a-Day.

Be sure to read the comments.

YacRac, can you now take a family portrait (with HH), so I can officially label it The . . .

More on the trip to L.A.

2006-11-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

Listen, I try to stay in touch with you guys, but you have to get blogging, too. I'm real sick of gmail. Hurts my eyes. Write here.

I wrote about our vacation (and it was a really good one, too) on my blog in a couple of places, probably to the chagrin of my readers.

But who cares? Bloggers can be pretty defensive about their blogs. But do read some of my stories about our trip on Lessons From a Family Therapist. I think they're mostly on the last 3 posts from November 14-17.

I even put up a couple of pictures over there!

Here are a few more. We took the one of Safta and Winnie when she surprised BOTH Aunt Leesa and Saft in Chicago. I have the video, too. One day will really have to make one of the past year.

Have a great Shabbas, Love, Mom

Back from the valley(s)

2006-11-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

OK, I agree with everything posted about our trip so far, except for the "anxiety" about getting out. In truth, I felt we were in plenty of time, checking our luggage 55 minutes before the scheduled flight, waiting at the gate for a good 35 minutes before boarding. We deftly arranged for J. Bekritsky to drop us off in our own car (and pick us up quite efficiently on our return).

Margo's boys were equally well-behaved on the second day, when we took them to the Bob Baker Marionettes show, a bizarre, but visually stunning rendition of The Nutcracker. We had a wonderful Shabbos, full of food, and I was privileged to hear even sh'siyah's own Eli Cooper do Musaf.

Our car trip to San Francisco was admittedly long and hard on the ol' therapist's back, but Beno's house was well worth seeing (watching the sun set over the Golden Gate Bridge from his bedroom window). Also we had dinner in SF (Shangri-La, which is kosher except for the win and highly recommended, located across the street from Happy Donut), with cousin Michael Lavigne (famous author) and his wife, Gayle. AND WE DIDN"T GET LOST! (Beno drove, and, frankly, I had my eyes closed the whole way.)

On our drive back, we traversed the Salinas valley, the Imperial valley, the Central valley, and a bunch of valleys that we couldn't identify, before settling back in The Valley. We did get lost a little or detoured or something so that we had to travel twice through Salinas, CA, home of Fresh Express bagged lettuce (and spinach!). LSF's back was pretty wrecked by the time we got to LA.

It's kinda good to be back home: the bed is cozy, the coffee -- well, better. Weather is dreary, damp, drizzly, dark -- but not really cold. Following an intensive course of stretching, ibuprofen, rolling around on a mat, L's back is on the mend. My practice hasn't fallen apart, though it's often hard to tell. Ate at Shallot's last night for a drug-company sponsored discussion. The food was good, not great, and there were several things mentioned on the menu which in reality did not appear with the order (I can provide any Polskys with the culinary details on request). I actually have another dinner there tomorrow night, then Shabbos, then the Kanner chasuna in Detroit on Sunday. Cholesterol city.

Turtle TV

2006-11-12T04:49:00.000-08:00

Season 1 Webisode 2 is here!!!

DF

Back in the Valley

2006-11-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

Apologies for not calling anyone. It's been a tough week.

Chammie read about some of it on my blog. Here's the link (click on this, mom).

Cham, by the way, I think you got the wrong idea. We've always been pretty good about coordinating the suitcase and the hanging bag thing.

It was hard getting out of town and traveling was stressful because it was also hard for Aba to leave. We checked in at the airport with 10 minutes at most to spare and there were 48 people waiting to take our seats at Stand By.

I had a bad day. But it was a good day because we made it to L.A. on time and rented a really decent car, a Dodge, from a low-ball rental company, Advantage, and the guys were great there, even installed the car seats. Six guys helping one little old lady while Aba got the luggage.

I got the better job, no?

It was cute.

Our first night we saw the boys and scarfed Margo's pasta (amazing) with an appetizer of lox on bagel (good lox), allowing Yac/Rac peace and quiet, as H.H. was asleep.

She's a light sleeper. They were right. But she's poo, poo, poo, so gorgeous and happy and I don't see the stranger anxiety appropriate at 9 months. Unless, of course, I'm no longer a stranger.

Thursday was delightful. Elan and Ariel were thrilled to take the day off to be with Bubs and Sabs. They took our hands as we walked. They were the best behaved boys I've ever seen. We had a good time and didn't get too lost.

I actually was supposed to be at a conference. I got there late (I WAS LOST IN DOWNTOWN L.A. AND TOOLED AROUND NO JOKE, FOR ABOUT AN HOUR, TRYING TO FIND THE SHERATON WHICH DOES NOT HAVE A BIG "S" ON IT LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO.

Anyway, got there, signed in, listened in on a paper presentation for 2 minutes, pretended to get a phone call, got up. Left. Aba was coming into the city in Margo's car to drop her off at work so he'd have one just in case I wanted to stay at the conference, so he picked me up.

Then at night we met Uncle Scot and Cousin Roz for dinner (a real score) at a very noisy but adequate (I thought) pizza shop (Nagila). They do make an amazing stuffed crust with those mushrooms stuffed in the crust. I have to remember to do that.

Okay, gotta' go. So don't think we're not thinking of you. I remembered to write, didn't I?

Love, Mom

Jeffrey & me

2006-11-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

So, as many of you may already know, I'm addicted to watching Project Runway. It's a reality TV competition for fashion designers. This season, my favorite contestant was a rocker dude named Jeffrey Sebelia. Jeffrey's a talented ex-junkie who likes to act tough and mean. Inside I think he's a big softie... his neck tattoo is the name of his 4-year old son followed by "the love of my life" in Italian.

Anyways, Jeffrey won the show, Mag's selling his clothes, and I decided to dress up as him for our annual Halloween party. The costume was a hit, and there were some other good ones at the party, too! I have a bunch of pics up of the real Jeffrey, me, and some of my friends at http://www.flickr.com/photos/berkeleybean .... enjoy.

Siyum time!

2006-11-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that Beno and I completed learning Sefers Ezra & Nehemiah.
Meanwhile, Therapydoc and her chavrutah, Dr. Ruch, finished Shmuel Alef.
If nothing else, these events call for a drink.

Flam News

2006-11-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hooray! Their first episode is here!

"Turtleeme S01E01 - Lech Licha"

enjoy
DF

Sim Is Heard Around the World

2006-11-04T15:39:00.000-08:00

Our boy writes from Israel:

Hey all,
Today I got to lain my first whole parsha since arriving here.
Unfortunately I had to walk like three kilometers to get there. And back.
And I had a cold. And I couldn't carry tissues because there was no eiruv.
But I did manage not to get lost and they did have tissues at the shul in
Moshav Aseret which is surprising, because as much as I gather, Israelis
don't believe in napkin-like items. Anyhoo, I also had to speak twice in
the Yishuv's shul- in
Hebrew mind you- one dvar torah and one halachah. The only problem with
the Torah one was that I didn't plan on forgetting every word of Hebrew I
ever knew by stepping up on the bima, but I think the dvar halachah made
sense. I lained in Havara sefardit, a first for me, so my rghghgrrraish
was a little inconsistent. The tuf was easy enough though- apparently two
years in Hillel Torah preschool is all one needs.
Finished The Plot Against America this week, pretty solid book, just gets
a little boring at times. Started jogging around the kibbutz a few days a
week, which gives a good feel.
Shavua Tov ya'll,
-Simhha

Random Ruminations

2006-11-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

Costco now sells caskets. This brings up several points:
-- whaaaaaat?
-- why?
-- are they sold in bulk?

_________________

Babies do not know, nor do they apparently care, about Daylight Savings Time.

_________________

The new Brad Pitt drama called Babel is about the divisive power of language. As such, its title is a reference to the Tower of Babel.

What amazes me is that the movie opened the weekend of Parshas Noach. I'm tellin' ya, this town is getting more religious by the day!

And Simcha's Figured Out How to Stay Awake

2006-10-29T22:49:00.000-08:00

Here's what the little tyke has to say:

For those who don't know, choref zman means winter semester (I guess).

Not quite school, but choref zman did start this week. It's long. Like
five months straight. And its dark like at 4:30, so it's a little
depressing. Torah still good though. Along with this pizza I had today.
Toppings included: peppers, tomatoes, onions, and eggplant. Also
discovered that the book I'm reading (The Plot Against America,
Philip Roth) has the word Adoshem spelled out in full, so
I probably can't flag it. Other than that, not much to report.
Bloggers, feel free to email me your blogs in spare time.

Have a good shabbos all,
-Sim

Then there's today's email:

At the KBY breakfast there's usually a line to get to the 30 gallon hot
water heater every morning. So today, after I mixed my instant coffee,
milk, and sugar, I skipped the line by going to the big vat of tea (lots
of brits in the school) to fill up the cup. The result: Liquid speed. I
may have stolen the idea from an episode of Step By Step, but my g-d does
that stuff give you a jolt. Crazy. For reference.
Other additions of Choref Zman include daily porridge for breakfast, which
I happen to be a huge fan of, and hourly rainstorms followed by hourly
sunshine. Tis a strange schedule. Have a pleasant winter all,
-Sim

Shabbas with Some Gorens

2006-10-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

Well, of course it was special, what did you think?

Uncle Mike brought his unbelievable voice (beautiful kiddush) along with him from Hormel, NY where he shivers while he works. (We whistle). Aunt Leesa was gracious and smiley and helpful, and Safta SLEPT OVER.

It was really fun.

We went to a Borders tonight to buy some children's books and browse and drink coffee and whatever else people do at Borders (talked too loud, sang When You Walk Through A Storm Hold Your Head Up High, or some old song like that from Carousel or was it Carnival and oh, aren't they the same?

Rachelle, help me here.

Now Leesa and Aba are watching the last game of the World Series (at least I think it's the last game). So I'm stuck blogging. What a shame.

Have a great week.

Oh, and Chammie. I saw a book on vampires and apparently the word Peeps means Vampires. You never told me. All this time I've been using this word as a shorter word for people. I feel so dumb.

Don't say it!

Mom

World's Cloudiest Crystal Ball

2006-10-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

Never, EVER, ask me to predict the future. About the only thing I got right this season was don't forget the Twins!

Dovid's 2006 predictions (in chronological order:)

1. The White Sox, given the best offense and pitching staff in the majors, will win the World Series.
2. The Yankees, given the best line-up ever in a postseason, will slug their way to a World Series.
3. The Mets can't possibly lose to the Cardinals.
4. The Tigers are this year's White Sox.

Everything I predicted was wrong.

Congratulations: Aba, Yacov, Uncle Barry, Alex, Max, Leesa, Winnie...and the greatest fan of all...Safta.

(At least the Tigers didn't win.)

Quick Fact: In three games between the Cards and Sox this year, the former champs swept by a score of 34-11. In the last game, St. Louis Rookie Anthony Reyes (winner of Game 1 in the WS) pitched a no-hitter into the eighth, but lost 1-0 when he finally gave up the Sox's lone hit--a solo HR by Jim Thome. What does that mean now? Squat.

When Freedmans Run Out of Words

2006-10-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Are we quiet, or what? I ran over to the polsky blog and they ramble like mad!
I think it's seattlepolskys.blogspot.com if you want to crash in on them. I do, usually with a one liner that says, basically, yo.

Things in Chicago still haven't settled down. I'm feeling a little wiped out from Tishre and the 7-brachas, although having Aunt Leesa is energizing, and Aunt Winnie popped in.

Yesterday was a double header on birthdays, Aunt L. and Uncle Scot. And it's Grampa Sidney's on the 28th, although he tried to move it to Tishre, but since he probably didn't quite remember when in Tishre I left it where it is. I'll always choose the later date, think I get a choice between the solar and lunar.

That's pretty much it. The menu for Shabbas is straight from the freezer!

Love you all, Mom

Hi from Aunt Leesa

2006-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all you Freedman's out there - I'm in cold Chicago this week. Although I'm not getting as much done in moving Safta to a new apartment as I'd like, we're making slow progress. Hopefully we'll have a moving date set before I leave.

I was expecting weather similar to last year, and was promised temperature in the 50's but instead got cold and dreary 30's. Luckily I didn't bring a coat because I needed a new raincoat, so that was my first order of business. Last night I got to attend a beautiful and delicious sheva brachot for Yitzi Wengrow. Mark and Linda hosted this beautiful event in typically gracious fashion and their friends did a great job of serving and cooking. Rabbi Cohen spoke and actually pronounced one word of Hebrew correctly and not in ashkenazis, but he quickly made up for that by using a synonym pronounced his normal way. I really have a problem understanding the divrei Torah here.

Heshy Wengrow spoke last and went into a very detailed explanation of exactly how he knows each of the host/hostess families. Afterwards his mother said that no one likes someone who speaks too long.

Anyway I'm looking forward to Shabbat with Mark and Linda. Uncle Michael's coming in and that will be especially nice, to be here with time to talk together. And the Cardinals are winning, for a change, as long as I don't watch the game.

Love and kisses to all. The pictures of the kids are adorable and I only hope that both Avi and Beno, instead of traveling together, will find their bashert's this year and we'll have more weddings to celebrate together.

Applause

2006-10-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to tell everyone that Hannah Honey started clapping today. We've been trying to coax her into doing it for weeks, but she just started on her own while watching School of Rock... which, by the way, is a terrific comedy.

Ron Herman's Web Site

2006-10-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but it seems to me that about 6 weeks ago I went to this store's web site and it stunk. This morning I went there to sign up to be on the email list, and lo and behold, it is SO much better.

How does that happen?

Anyway, if you guys want to actually see what MargoKR is doing these days, go to RonHerman.com. If you want to get their emails, Sign Up. It only takes a second (thanks for streamlining that, sweetheart). No fuss.

Have a great week.

Love, Mom

Coming Weekend

2006-10-20T05:01:00.000-07:00

Should be crazy.

Wengrow uff ruff and a family of 4 (a 3yr-old and a baby) are staying w/ us.

Same set up as yac/rac, UPSTAIRS, meaning I have to cover my hair (oy).

Then Sunday Aunt Leesa's coming :)

but I'll be working :(

and then there's the chasanah at some point :)

and then there's 7-brachot at our house.

So if we sound a little distant and unfocused, it's because we're a little distant and not focused. I'm probably not going to even blog, a very big step.

HAVE A FABULOUS SHABBAS, ONE AND ALL, AND IF YOU SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN, GIVE THEM A BIG HUG FROM SABA AND BUBBIE!

Love, Mom

Somewhere between Verdun and the Somme

2006-10-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

I would argue that this week was a bust. Simchas Torah was about as fun as it can be when you attend a shul where the mean age is somewhere around 65. Some of the young marrieds tried to keep it cool, but mainly the social hall just kinda smelled like Yuntif. Samnpatty where in town which was great, and my cholesterol skyrocketed with daily doses of prime rib.

And then it was back to the horrendous reality we all know as school. Well, for Tuesday I had a short paper due on the middle class during the 1950s. The problem with a short paper about an entire decade is self-explanatory. The same day I had my "print-art" project due in my Computer Graphics class. Now this one is just interesting because we all thought the point of taking a digital graphics class was that you didn't have to actually make anything. We were wrong. My project was pretty basic, but it was a pain because I had to go to Staples to get my pictures printed, and quite frankly, they don't speak English over there and I don't speak Bavarian. I made a bizarre wedding album, juxtaposing (nice use of an Artscroll word) pictures from my wedding with some I had on my computer. The goal, to quote my art professor, "is to create something that asks more questions than can possibly be answered."

Right about then I decided that art is idiotic.

Tuesday night and Wednesday night I went through sixty pages of my 20th century Germany notes to prepare for today's midterm, which I subsequently bombed because the essays were primarily based on books that I never read and that we never discussed in class. So now I'm an encyclopedic Streudel without much of a grade to show for it. But I digress. I will say this: being a Jew and studying 20th century German history is kinda like biting your tongue...you're in pain, you're upset, and all you can say is "Weltanschauung!"

Last night was parent-teacher night at Hebrew School. I suppose it went better than last year seeing as the 6 parents who actually cared to show up didn't tell me I was doing a lousy job disciplining their child (the jist of last year's event.) I did miss how no parents came up after class to reprimand me for not telling them that there kid seemed spaced out and needed more Ritalin (also the jist of last year's event.) The Hebrew School principle (grossly incompetent) drove off the nice secretary who used to bring us donuts. Now the principle brings these gross Entemann's cakes that no one wants to eat and that sit there for months. Soon I'm going to leave a note:

"No cake."

Tonight Chamster made an apple pie and I mostly sat on my duff reflecting on how I get my score next week and have to apply to Law School, which according to the professor who's writing my recommendation, "isn't the worst thing you can do, though to be honest, nothing else comes to mind right now."

DF

The System Works!

2006-10-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

If you can't fight City Hall... join 'em! (A mixed metaphor which would make Safta proud.)

Yesterday was our big election for the Neighborhood Council, during which I voted... for myself. (This picture was taken with Rachelle's camera-phone, which is why it looks kinda wonky.) I ran for the Cultural Organization Seat, and the preliminary results show that I won by 48 votes. Now, that may not sound by much, but so far as I can tell, only 403 total ballots were cast.

For those who don't know how I got involved, here's essentially what happened. Last year, the Neighborhood Council (which has no real power -- they only advise their representatives in the City Council) tried to pass a couple of ordinances which didn't sit well with the Orthodox community of the neighborhood. So some guys from shul, including our dear Yoni, ran for the council and won. This year, they convinced even more congregants to run... and a healthy grassroots campaign was enough to secure five more seats, which is more than a majority.

Ah, democracy, gotta love it. I just hope the newspapers don't get wind of this story, because the anti-Semitic local media would love to blow this out of proportion.

The series so far

2006-10-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

Well, no one really expected the Cards to last this long in the playoffs, anyway. It's been painful, at times, to watch the games, since
(1) Most of the team are shadows of their former selves (say, the team that won 100+ games some years back). This is especially true of Rolen and Edmunds (who actually came up and homered after clunking his head into the wall in #4, thus reversing a long period of foggy play since the last time he collided, ala some B-movie plot).

(2) Albert (Pujols, Chammie!) is clearly hurting.

(3) The baserunning is atrocious. This is especially painful for old Cardinal fans to watch.

(4) Even if they win the pennant, they'll be in the same position as 2004: too worn-out from a dragged-out LCS to even show up for the World Series.

(5) Linda, the venerate Cubs fan, wants both teams to suffer, but somehow the Cards even more than the Mets.

On the bright side, there's Yadier Molina, clearly someone who has been groomed all his life to play big-league ball. (any comments, Alex?)

Also, Simcha has maintained his connection with MLB: someone named "Michael from the ballpark" called the other day to invite him to join a bunch of vendors going to Detroit, where they are apparently short-staffed for the coming WS.

So, yes, I've spent waay too much time watching this stuff, when I should be doing shenayim mikra v'echad targum, according to the Rabbi, and other things like working, according to my wife. I don't know why I get sucked into this year after year. Tonight, I'll skip it and play some basketball (though they have a TV in the locker room).

Looking forward to hosting Leesa (and Michael!) this coming week. Don't forget Leesa's birthday on Oct 25 (also Pablo Picasso's, Duv).

ABA

Cousin Adoration

2006-10-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

Elan told me, in detail, about how happy he was to see little HH:

"Mommy, you wouldn't believe it. She craw-uls! And she says hi! She says it! She talks!"

Ariel nods to confirm. "Yes. She does. Baby Honey say Hi."

Me: "Is she cute?"

Elan: "She's so SO pretty! Like the prettiest she ever was! I missed-ed her so much and I was so happy to see her! And we were just playing wif her for a loong time."

Me: "Wow."

Elan: "Mommy, what will we call her when she growses up? because she'll probably 'hink Hannah Honey is a baby name when she is bigger."

Me: "It's her name. Your name stays the same. If she thinks it's babyish, maybe we'll just call her Hannah?"

Elan: "When she growses up, I'm going to tell her I remember her from when she was so teeny-tiny little. And she will laugh - she will 'hink it's so funny."

I'm sure she will. I'm also not making a word of this up.

On other notes, I'm not going to blog about my job (on OFAF) anymore, only vaguely and in reference to my relationship with the kids. Too paranoid. So if you want to know how it's going, just call me. So far, so good. Busy, but fun.

Sufferin' Succah-tash

2006-10-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

Actually, 'twas one of the most enjoyable Succots in memory for me'n'Rac'n'HH. We spent the first half in Atlanta, along with much of Rachelle's family, and then the second half in Chicago. As has been previously reported, Beno also came in, along with Chammie's mom, which made the house nicely populated but not overly-crowded. A good mix, really.

Mom made some great food and some incredible cookies, of which I ate (I'm guessing here) 98%. I saw some movies, too: The Devil Wears Prada on the flight to Atlanta... Word Play (a documentary about Crossword puzzles) on the flight from Chicago... and the Lindsay Lohan version of The Parent Trap on the CAR RIDE HOME FROM LAX. Yes, it took a little while, but Lilli's van at least has a built in DVD player. (FYI, I recommend Word Play, which I believe was in theaters for exactly thirteen minutes. It's pretty darn good.)

I also watched the Cardinals roll over and play dead for a couple of games, though at least they had the good sense to win over yontif. And they racked up another win tonight, so I can only guess that Aba wasn't watching.

And for the benefit of those who were not there, here is a joke Grandpa told us on Friday night, with some commentary from Buba thrown in for good measure.

Grandpa: "I have a joke. Actually, it's more of a riddle: what's the difference between a bigamist--"

Buba: "Oh, here we go."

Grandpa: "What's the difference between a bigamist and a monogamist? (dramatic pause) A bigamist has one wife too many. A monogamist... same deal."

(Crowd laughs appreciatively)

Buba: "I don't think that was funny."

Grandpa: "They all laughed. They thought it was funny."

Buba: "I don't like jokes which are anti-women. I just don't."

Mom: "Well, that's fine."

Grandpa: "It's just a joke!"

Beno's First Post

2006-10-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Just figured I'd check out the Flam News and see what all the fuss is about. I gotta say, Mom has done us proud once again. The blog looks really nice. I like the pictures idea.

I decided last minute to come for the weekend and was happy to see everyone! It was a lot of fun. HH is definitely a star and a true lady. She always smiles, never drools, and keeps her audience wanting more. Other highlights: deciding where Jake is going to college, eating all of Mom's great food, late night tea with Savta, reading a document to be named later, and learning the history of my family's living room furniture from Buba and Grandpa. Oh, and buying 4 Old Navy polos for 97 cents each. (97 cents! Can you believe that?)

Duv, I liked your LSAT description... reminds me of how I felt about the GREs. I'll bet you did fine. BTW, Duv is right about Battlestar Galactica... that show is awesome.

Succos 5767

2006-10-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

Is this a great year so far? Here are some photos from yuntif (chol hamoed). The ones of the spider are really in his memory. A storm took him away. You really have to see the video. It's pretty amazing.

Regards to all, near and far. We miss you.

Here she is again with Hannah the doll from Ellis Island:

And here's Spidey. There's no comparison between the two, just thought Elan and Ariel might like these shots. Have a great yuntif everyone, bug and spider free if possible!:

At night:

And if you're interested in genetics

2006-10-11T05:27:00.000-07:00

Or simply missing Grampa Mel, take a look at Max and G.M.

Sim in Jerush

2006-10-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

Hi, just in case you didn't get this one, here's our boy.

Epiphony from Mark and Linda

2006-10-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

Gilmore Girls and Boston Legal are on tonight.
NLCS playoffs are on tomorrow night.

It's all coming together . . .

SUCCOS CHICAGO?

2006-10-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's where we are. Dovid and Chammie graced us with their presence, so we're pretty happy with the holiday. They look marvelous.

Aba has done an unbelievable job on the succah. We have Persian rugs hanging on the walls. I'm going out to videotape it as soon as I'm finished.

I, of course, am burning most things.

To make matters worse, I bought a Tang a lovely yellow fish, made Tang lunches, and in the process of dividing up the vegetable cubes and the planktyn and placing them in the saran wrap, forgot about him. I think I killed him within 2 hours of possession (he's not dead yet, but is on his side, so perhaps whisper a prayer.)

I had left him in the plastic bag in the tank to adjust to the water and he probably has gill damage, perhaps fatal. My excuse? Got up this morning around 4-ish, had to make the lasagna , didn't I?

So I'm pretty sad about that. This could take awhile to get over. I feel like a real murderer. (AND I'm out 30 bucks).

Chag sameach,

Love, Mom

And The Son Becomes The Mother

2006-10-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Elan said "Dammit!" tonight. In context. It's time to clean up my language.

Cause you're all dying to know...

2006-10-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

I took the LSAT today in La Plata, MD--which is Southern Maryland.

Let me reiterate the point: College of Southern Maryland (where I took the test) is in a cornfield.

Aaanyway, I woke up around 5 am to drive out to this place which is about 47 miles away (approx. an hour). I didn't really sleep last night, a mixture of having gone to bed too early and nerves. I distinctly remember making it up to 600 sheep between 3-3:45 am. But the insomnia didn't matter too much. I got up, and left for La Plata.

Once there, I davened in the school's parking lot. It was kinda cold, and as the security guard made his rounds and saw me wrapped in my Talis, he didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary. "Wish I brought my blanket," he said. I concurred wholeheartedly, hoping he wouldn't notice that it was 6 am, we were in a parking lot alone, and I was wrapped in leather.

Chamster made me breakfast, which included a whole wheat bagel. Needless to say, the fiber fed my nerves way more than was necessary.

Aaaanyway...

People started to show around 7:30 am, and we talked about the panic attack that we were all battling. "It's not big deal," said one guy, "it's just like, the rest of your life."

Now for a second consider who is taking the LSAT on a Tuesday morning in Charles County, a place known for its low gas prices, liquor stores, and Native American politicos. The test is normally administered on Saturdays--so you got it: it was me and a handful of other displaced Jews of different religious affiliations. Plus two African Americans; Seventh Day Adventists, I guess.

One of the kids who came about ten minutes before the test, dressed in a jeans and a green T that left nothing of his beer belly to the imagination, broke in with the words, "Chabad in the house!" He directed this to the giant Ner Israel kid, who looked just about as scared as ever that he wasn't in B-more anymore eating Mama Leah's Pizza. He then came over to me and another guy and starting talking about his masters in economics, how he's a libertarian, how capitalism rules, how...oh I forgot to care.

For the SAT, I always wanted to just get a fake ID and have Mitch take the test for me. I figured they'd never notice the staggering height difference. But they know better with the LSAT--they take your thumbprint. Which would be totally cool if, like, we were being arrested.

Because most of the family is pursuing their hopes and dreams--and I'm getting a law degree--I'll share with you the break down of LSAT. The test can take up to 7 hours, depending on how many kids. Because it was a make-up test, we finished in the minimum. There are five 35 minute sections, which include at least 1 Reading Comp, 1 Logic Games, and 2 Logical Reasoning sections. A fifth section could be any of the three, but is experimental, so it doesn't count. Except you don't really know which one is experimental, so you twiddle along thinking you did great till' you reach that one hellish section and realize the section you aced was probably experimental. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First section: reading comp (four passages, about 25 questions). Never studied much for reading comp, because it's all I do as a history major. Learned some boring (though probably fallacious) stuff about evolutionary game theory, and the anarchist movement. All was well.

Second section: logic games (four games, about 25 questions). In practice tests, I never aced a logic game section but I did this one well. Maybe I even aced it. That's what had me worried.

Third section: logical reasoning (about 25 paragraphs, each followed with a question assessing the argument). I was doing okay in this section at home, but today's LRs were impossible. After 10, it was all downhill. I scrambled to finish.

Then came the 15 minute break. Economics dude kept talking and said he wanted to start wearing tzitzit (he's conservative but has some background.) He was concerned with wearing them out though, and asked me if it was a necessity. I found it the perfect time to share my favorite Rabbi Marvin Segal story from my senior year at High School. I will indulge you all now:

Apparently back in the day, (1960s--days of rage, as Tom Gitlin remembers) kids--even in Skokie Yeshiva--didn't wear their Tzitzit out. One day, two of the frumer boys walked in with--bum bum bum--their tzizit out! When asked my my rebbi's rebbi, R. Zeleg Shtarr, why the boys were wearing their Tzitzit out, they argued that it was a big mitzvah and appropriate to show off. The wise Rabbi responded:

"Bris Milah is a big mitzvah but you don't see my showing that off!"

Back to the LSAT...2 multiple choice sections left.

Section 4: Logical reasoning. Pain in the tush again.

Section 5: Logic games...but this time, they were hard. Plus I was tired and couldn't pace myself as well. I got through three of the games, but the last one was a hybrid (combined double sequencing with grouping) and I was dead meat. To make things worse, I misread the game and the three of seven that I though I got were wrong. Realizing this at the last minute, I scrambled to change em up and guessed basically on the whole game. Hopefully I did okay on the other 3.

So which one is the experimental question is the question on everyone's mind. The fact is, I don't know for sure. It is one of the the Logic Games sections, because there is 1 RC and 2 LRs scored. So one of the two LGs, either the one I did well on, or the one I partially bombed, is the experimental section. But I have a bad feeling that the unscored section is the one I did well on (a) because it was easier, and (b) because Section 2 was the experimental section for Saturday's test according to Kaplan (granted, I took a different test.)

The last section of the test is a 35 minuted writing sample that is unscored but is sent to each law school you apply. The prompt was some claim that new night airplane flights wouldn't depreciate nearby housing because it would increase airline profits and thus lower taxes in the neighborhood. I obviously refuted the claim, but resisted the urge to say, "This claim is wrong because you are a poopy-head."

Whatever the case, I didn't pass out, I made it home, and I even blogged about it. It's over and I'm glad, and now you know not to ask...not that anyone did. After an emotional morning, we all hugged (this never happened) and shared how much meeting everyone meant at this life changing event (nope, didn't happen either.)

I turned on the car radio and Eddie Vedder said it best: "heeeeyyyyy, ohhhh, I'm still alive....gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble, something about stealing bread."

DF

Meanwhile....

2006-10-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

Standard time rocks. The fast was over here at six. And we started davening at six so we retained the holiness of hours upon hours of prayer. We even had a forty minute break between mussaf and mincha. (Note: Always make sure to tell roommate to wake one up for mincha, instead of taking it as a given that since he is in the room at beginning of said nap, he will still be when time to wake up. Or just come forty-five minutes late to one of the five holiest minyanim of the year.) They had this chili to break the fast. It was good, but I'm not sure who thought of chili as the perfect food for an empty stomach
Bein Hazmanim starts the minute the fast ends so this morning I made my way over to Petah Tiqwah (its how the signs spell it!). I got to Aunt Lisa's all right, following my roommates instructions and calling Eli to pick me up from the bus stop in PT. Uncle Mike got a Succah up on the balcony which uses bamboo mats, aka, G-d's gift to Succah's. Eli's jamming with some friends in the room next door . I'm in the process of catching up on seven weeks without internet (only email), which I would not recommend unless it was for a spot on Survivor. Still gotta get a lulav, but other than that doing alright. Oh, and on Shabbos I was talking with someone who knew about Star-Wars-Joke-A-Day.
Chag Sameach All!
-Sim

Ugh

2006-09-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

Enjoy the pic of me and the secret blogger. I may look like a total dork, but she's very smiley and looking forward to seeing her grandparents!

Anyway, I'm still sick. I thought I was better on Friday morning, so I went into work... where I probably infected everyone within five feet. Not my most responsible moment as an employee. By the time I headed home, I knew Shabbos would be tough.

And it was. My nose got so red from the tissues (yes, the kind with lotion) that I needed to put lanolin on it. The package said it was for nursing mothers, which made me feel really macho. At least Rachelle and HH seem to be on the upswing, and since my SDV seems to be a day or two behind theirs, I have a bit of hope that Yom Kippur won't be a rapid series of banging-chest, blowing-nose, banging chest, blowing-nose...

In better news, I'm thrilled to see Uncle Barry and Aunt Leesa here! Very cool. I don't know what to say about Rachelle -- she seems to be a bit scared of this whole idea. Cham, encourage her, okay? G'mar tov, everyone!

How Grampa Saved Uncle Dan

2006-09-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

Remember, or for those of you who are just tuning in, Uncle Dan was my late Uncle Dan, Grampa Sidney's younger brother. He was 3 years younger that G.(about). He looked like Clark Gable.

G. saved Uncle Danny's life 3 times.

1) Apparently on the farm there was a very big ditch with water. I'm thinking it was a well. (OMG I've just blanked on all the details. Dad, fill them in on the comments, please). Somehow Danny fell into the ditch and Grampa heard the splash of all things. He ran to get Grampa Morris who came dashing out from whereever he was to pull D. out of the ditch. G. remembers GM shaking the water out of him, literally.

2) When they were about 10 and 7 they walked over to Montrose Beach (Do you know where that is, Linda?). This was before the city put up big boulders. The rocks.

Anyway, so Uncle Dan has a beach ball and the two of them are swimming. If you know Lake Michigan then you know how the current and the waves can feel like an ocean sometimes. The current pulled Danny out from shore and kept on pulling.

Danny shouts, "Should I let go of the beach ball?"

G. "No, hand onto it. I'm coming."

And he swam out and grabbed U.D. and did an ersatz side stroke to get the two of them to shore. (See, Sim, and you bothered taking Life Guard lessons for nothing).

3). They're in a car, I think Dad's 22, Dan's 19. Danny's cruising along, having a good time. A BIG TRUCK is about to greet them at the intersection and Danny's clueless. Grampa does the shout to save the day.

There you have it.

Oh, one more. How G. learned to swim.
The big guys threw him into the pool. He swam.

Gmar tov again, and Good Shabbas, Mom (Ema if you're Yoni) I HAVE TO STOP THIS!!!

Okay, this is just weird

2006-09-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Alright, what's going on here? First, look at this kid's name.

Then, take a gander at his brother.

I'm scared.

Blech

2006-09-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

We're all under the weather -- me, Rachelle, and HH. This morning I actually called in sick, and I still feel just as miserable tonight. I just hope it doesn't last until Yom Kippur.

In better news, my blog about Buba is now on the front page of starwars.com (along with my joke from yesterday).

HH is still crawling away, so we set up the playpen... which she rightfully views as a jail cell.

Welcome

2006-09-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

Hi new family members. The posts below were written with only Mark and Linda's kids as an audience, so they might be a little confusing.

Definitions:
Buba is Sarah Lorber
Grampa, or "G" is Sidney Lorber
David Mann is my cousin Geri Lorber Mann's son.

Hope that helps. Please post and let us in on the news!

Grampa Stories

2006-09-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

Well, one of the good things about Grampa having been in the hospital (not that it was good that he was in there in the first place, he HATED that he couldn't tee off), but I had the opportunity, my second, to drive him and Buba home from Glenbrook, a very non-descript hospital, b-t-w.

Let's introduce David Mann at this point. He's Buba and Grampa's great nephew, meaning the son of one of my first cousins, Geri (married to Mark) Mann and an intern (resident?) in dermatology. I guess he was doing an Internal Medicine rotation now at Glenbrook. He saw a captive audience in Grampa and came to G's room to pump him for his history. See, G's brother, your Great Uncle Dan, passed away at 42 (?) or was it 47. I think the first.

Now David is Uncle Dan's grandson, so of course he wanted to interview G, his late grandfather's brother. He had never met his grandfather. David's first choice in medicine had been psychiatry, but he changed his mind when he realized he loved skin. He didn't say it quite that way. But he loved learning dermatology.

As you know, I haven't spoken to any of my Uncle Dan's 4 daughters in years. At one point I threw out an olive branch and had a terrific, friendly, sweet lunch with Geri Mann, David's mother, but that was it. I told her the ball was in her court, since I'd made the first contact, and didn't get the ball back. I didn't push it since there was so much bad feeling between G. and the Lorber family.

All Grampa wants in life is appreciation. You guys know that. He's really a very low maintainance guy in that way. Really in every way.

So the L girls didn't know that about G and now no one talks. But here comes David Mann.

So I've got G. and B.(Buba) in the car and Glenbrook Hosp is about a 20 minute drive. I drove slowly (although you'd never know it if you heard B. in the back seat-sorry, Mom, it's true).

I asked G about his night with David Mann and G was very excited to tell me the whole story. David asked him about the family rift (cut-off, to be technical) and G told him his side: I supported them for 25 years and they didn't appreciate me.

I don't think he sugar coated it very much.

I asked, Didn't he want stories about his grandfather?

Well, yes, he did. And I told him that Danny was a nice guy, a smart guy. He was my brother. And he looked like Clark Gable. Which he did.

What else? I told him about the three times I saved my brother's life.
(I'll post these another day, I've GOT to daven!).

What else? Nothing else, really.

Buba: You didn't tell him anything except that you saved his life?

Me: Stop, Mom

Me: Tell me about grampa and gramma. Tell me about their marriage. How did he treat her.

Long pause.

G: He was, I can't get the right word (long pause).

Buba (back seat): Dominant.

G: Right. He was dominant. His word was the last word.

Buba: You hear?

Me: What else?

G: He ruled the house.

Me: Did he rule you?

G: He tried.

Me: THAT'S WHERE I GET IT.

Buba: Get what?

Me: That don't tell me what to do thing. And my stubbornness.

Buba: You're stubborn?

Me: Well, yeah. Not so much, maybe. I don't know (I'm confused, uncertain. I wanted him to say something but he didn't).

Now what I should have asked was: Are the stories true? The Milwaukee girls tell me Grampa Morris(his father) used to chase you around the farm in Poland with a belt. But he had just come from a surgical procedure and we were rounding Niles Center Road.

Me Instead: Tell me more about you and Uncle Dan.

G: Once a guy was picking on him and I cracked the guy in the jaw. He never did that again.

It was nice.

Have a good day, kids. Love to you all.

Simcha's Emails

2006-09-27T04:45:00.000-07:00

I know you guys get them, but these are for Buba, or anyone else in the family who is interested in what's going on with our dear boy.

From Sim, 9-22-06
It rained lightly this morning, first I've seen of that magical sky water
in the holy land. Everybody's happy when it rains here but technically it
is the sunny season, and rain is sort of a curse. So, I'm thinking one of
two options. Either its an omen for the start of a curseful year, G-d
forbid, or its a fulfillment of that phrase that Safta always says
"Tichleh Shana V'killelotehah, Tachel Shana uVirchoteha," which makes it
sound like it's gonna be a good year. Nothing in Israel is just wind
massing bits of precipitation off the sea into clouds that eventually
dissipate into water, especially when you have a second seder chavrusa
who has a plan to slowly but surely make you into a chasid.

In other news, I'm getting at least one meal from my musar Rabbi's family
(Guy speaks about three words of English, so it's a lot of fun), and
that's exciting. Tonight's we proclaim G-d as King, so that's scary. This
week has been a lot of slichos and a little sleep. Otherwise, nothing too new, except the
year. I'd like to hear more about these turtles though, such as how many
and what names they possess. Oh, and if someone would like to explain
Korta, I'd be much obliged.
Hope everyone pardons my offenses. Otherwise
Ktiva Vechatima Tova,
Sim

9-25-06
Happy Tof Shin Samech Zayin everyone!
Today I'm finding out the hard way why we always wake up before a fast
although i did have my fill of pizza last night so I'm doing all right.
Rosh Hashana was interesting- we had a serious chazzan for most of the
prayers. For Vechol Maminim alone, he had four different tunes on the
first day (an order of 1,2,3,4,2,1) and five on the second (1,2,3,4,5,1).
He also had backup singers chanting during unesaneh tokef. The word Hayom
was, according to my count, recited 28 times for each line in Hayom
Teamtzeinu. Oh, and the Baal Tokea's Tekiah Gedola was 22 seconds long.
(Apparently one year he managed 33). The food was pretty good, ended
up eating all my meals here. They had almost every Siman possible, except
the sheep's head and turtles. The davening wasn't so long, (6.5 hrs the
first day, about seven the second). I'm excited for Yom Kippur. For the
record, my calling resulted in me being the first one to know about Yoni's
foot, though if i had known if you were up at three I could've called
then. Well, I gotta go- ppl want the computer and I had like seventy
emails to write. Have an easy fast,
-Sim
9-26-06
So the Chief Rabbi of Israel paid us a visit today.
Today was KBY's annual Yom Kippur War memorial day so it turned out very
different than usual. The basic idea was that all the learning we did
today was in honor of KBY's fallen in the war. After Mincha we went to the
Beis Hakvaros on the kibbutz to pay our respects. We had a few minutes of
second seder until the speeches started. The first was by our Mashgiach.
In hebrew. The second was by random guy who I think was in the war. In
hebrew. Mid second speech the speaker announced that the Rishon Letzion
(Chief Rabbi/ KBY Alumnus) had arrived. He dresses so cool. Those Sefardim
got seriously awesome garb. So he spoke afterwards. In hebrew.
Unfortunately the constant barage of Hebrew did not allow me to get so
much of the speeches, but just seeing the RL is pretty cool. Not much else
right now. Gotta catch some zees,
-Sim

The Lorber Side of the Family

2006-09-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

There IS one, peeps. And they have found us! A lovely young cousin-- my second, yours once removed (I guess)-- named David Mann has found your Uncle David and has successfully charmed a relationship! A BRIDGE to the other side.

So last night I was in Glenbrook Hospital visiting Grampa, who is fast becoming a nurse fave. In walked this young man who looked just like my cousin Geri. Geri lived with us for about a year while her mom was in the middle of White Flight from the South Side. We were very close and then very not close (sigh).

I'll update you all as the story develops.

And yes, I've wasted WAY too much time blogging today, in case you want to know.

Have a great day. Mom

Bublog

2006-09-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

I actually wrote a real blog (not the usual joke) about Buba -- here's the link.

And yes, I made up the punchline. The rest is true, though.

Watching Dora

2006-09-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

The news by me is that I made it through the second round of interviews with Ron Herman and it's now down to me and one other candidate. Just when I thought I could leave it in Hashem's hands, I've got to do one more project to try and prove my worth. So that's what I'll be spending today and probably tomorrow on - ugh. At least the assignments are kind of fun.

Elan asked me about the birds and the bees the other night, which I'll probably use as a blog today.

I'm having my mezuzahs checked tomorrow, just to be sure.

And I moved furniture around in my apartment and changed the knobs on dressers and it makes ALL the difference. Seems much bigger and fresher. Highly recommend.

Here are the boys at this moment (watching a morning dose of Dora):

U.S. Cellular and Mom

2006-09-26T05:41:00.000-07:00

I think you guys would enjoy this post on my experience at the ball park with Aba, Barry and Alex.

Lessons from a Family Therapist

i'm in

2006-09-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

Just got a new haircut today. A labmate described it as "Macho Argentinian." Still have no cellphone.

Giving a talk this coming saturday night at our dept. retreat!
beno

Thanks for having me...

2006-09-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

It's a pleasure to be here.

Testing

2006-09-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

One... two... three.

Hi everybody! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

2006-09-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm in. I might as well post.
Margo's nightmare in the ER (she didn't mention the hospital by name, for some reason) was hilarious and fishandfamily.com continues to entertain to the point of tears . . . but really, that's pretty much par for the course in ER's. I'm sure PM can confirm that sometimes the support personnel being who they are and the crush of patients at any given time can transform urgent and emergent care into a blur of community psychodrama and suffering. It infuriates me when I work without so much as a bladder break (and, of course, I'm terrified to take a drink of water), while the redundant support personnel saunter into the lunch room for a half-hour repast, leaving unregistered patients in the waiting area and undone xrays in the treatment rooms. And it's equally infuriating when people bring inappropriate, inexplicable, and incurable flotsam (like that, Lin?) to the ER or ICC, which is designed to treat well-defined acute pathology such as -- sprained ankles! We docs love sprained ankles! They're varied enough to be interesting, there's always a defined protocol for treatment, and the patient almost always feels better before our eyes. I'd take a sprained ankle in before a knife-wounded low-life anyday.
They really blew it with Yoni.
What was that hospital's name . . . ?

2006-09-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

Listen, It's just a thought, well, it's more than a thought, it's a, uh, an enactment.

I'm having trouble following our gmails. They're long, there's a lot of clicking and finding. Let's try a blog. Polsky's did it and it's really nice. No one but immed fam bothers them. 'cept me.

Anything private, we put in email.

But we have our news, face it.

Like Aba took our ailing Altima to the J and someone stole a hubcap. He replaced it. 45 bucks.

Last night someone took his replacement.

I suggested he get a new one, park at the J, and write a note that says,

Here, take it you sick puppy. I'm GIVING it to you.
CHATIVAH V'CHATIMAH L'TOVA!
LF (see, we can just be our initials, or we can find new nicknames, IT'S OUR BLOG!