Flam News

I took the LSAT today in La Plata, MD--which is Southern Maryland.

Let me reiterate the point: College of Southern Maryland (where I took the test) is in a cornfield.

Aaanyway, I woke up around 5 am to drive out to this place which is about 47 miles away (approx. an hour). I didn't really sleep last night, a mixture of having gone to bed too early and nerves. I distinctly remember making it up to 600 sheep between 3-3:45 am. But the insomnia didn't matter too much. I got up, and left for La Plata.

Once there, I davened in the school's parking lot. It was kinda cold, and as the security guard made his rounds and saw me wrapped in my Talis, he didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary. "Wish I brought my blanket," he said. I concurred wholeheartedly, hoping he wouldn't notice that it was 6 am, we were in a parking lot alone, and I was wrapped in leather.

Chamster made me breakfast, which included a whole wheat bagel. Needless to say, the fiber fed my nerves way more than was necessary.

Aaaanyway...

People started to show around 7:30 am, and we talked about the panic attack that we were all battling. "It's not big deal," said one guy, "it's just like, the rest of your life."

Now for a second consider who is taking the LSAT on a Tuesday morning in Charles County, a place known for its low gas prices, liquor stores, and Native American politicos. The test is normally administered on Saturdays--so you got it: it was me and a handful of other displaced Jews of different religious affiliations. Plus two African Americans; Seventh Day Adventists, I guess.

One of the kids who came about ten minutes before the test, dressed in a jeans and a green T that left nothing of his beer belly to the imagination, broke in with the words, "Chabad in the house!" He directed this to the giant Ner Israel kid, who looked just about as scared as ever that he wasn't in B-more anymore eating Mama Leah's Pizza. He then came over to me and another guy and starting talking about his masters in economics, how he's a libertarian, how capitalism rules, how...oh I forgot to care.

For the SAT, I always wanted to just get a fake ID and have Mitch take the test for me. I figured they'd never notice the staggering height difference. But they know better with the LSAT--they take your thumbprint. Which would be totally cool if, like, we were being arrested.

Because most of the family is pursuing their hopes and dreams--and I'm getting a law degree--I'll share with you the break down of LSAT. The test can take up to 7 hours, depending on how many kids. Because it was a make-up test, we finished in the minimum. There are five 35 minute sections, which include at least 1 Reading Comp, 1 Logic Games, and 2 Logical Reasoning sections. A fifth section could be any of the three, but is experimental, so it doesn't count. Except you don't really know which one is experimental, so you twiddle along thinking you did great till' you reach that one hellish section and realize the section you aced was probably experimental. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First section: reading comp (four passages, about 25 questions). Never studied much for reading comp, because it's all I do as a history major. Learned some boring (though probably fallacious) stuff about evolutionary game theory, and the anarchist movement. All was well.

Second section: logic games (four games, about 25 questions). In practice tests, I never aced a logic game section but I did this one well. Maybe I even aced it. That's what had me worried.

Third section: logical reasoning (about 25 paragraphs, each followed with a question assessing the argument). I was doing okay in this section at home, but today's LRs were impossible. After 10, it was all downhill. I scrambled to finish.

Then came the 15 minute break. Economics dude kept talking and said he wanted to start wearing tzitzit (he's conservative but has some background.) He was concerned with wearing them out though, and asked me if it was a necessity. I found it the perfect time to share my favorite Rabbi Marvin Segal story from my senior year at High School. I will indulge you all now:

Apparently back in the day, (1960s--days of rage, as Tom Gitlin remembers) kids--even in Skokie Yeshiva--didn't wear their Tzitzit out. One day, two of the frumer boys walked in with--bum bum bum--their tzizit out! When asked my my rebbi's rebbi, R. Zeleg Shtarr, why the boys were wearing their Tzitzit out, they argued that it was a big mitzvah and appropriate to show off. The wise Rabbi responded:

"Bris Milah is a big mitzvah but you don't see my showing that off!"

Back to the LSAT...2 multiple choice sections left.

Section 4: Logical reasoning. Pain in the tush again.

Section 5: Logic games...but this time, they were hard. Plus I was tired and couldn't pace myself as well. I got through three of the games, but the last one was a hybrid (combined double sequencing with grouping) and I was dead meat. To make things worse, I misread the game and the three of seven that I though I got were wrong. Realizing this at the last minute, I scrambled to change em up and guessed basically on the whole game. Hopefully I did okay on the other 3.

So which one is the experimental question is the question on everyone's mind. The fact is, I don't know for sure. It is one of the the Logic Games sections, because there is 1 RC and 2 LRs scored. So one of the two LGs, either the one I did well on, or the one I partially bombed, is the experimental section. But I have a bad feeling that the unscored section is the one I did well on (a) because it was easier, and (b) because Section 2 was the experimental section for Saturday's test according to Kaplan (granted, I took a different test.)

The last section of the test is a 35 minuted writing sample that is unscored but is sent to each law school you apply. The prompt was some claim that new night airplane flights wouldn't depreciate nearby housing because it would increase airline profits and thus lower taxes in the neighborhood. I obviously refuted the claim, but resisted the urge to say, "This claim is wrong because you are a poopy-head."

Whatever the case, I didn't pass out, I made it home, and I even blogged about it. It's over and I'm glad, and now you know not to ask...not that anyone did. After an emotional morning, we all hugged (this never happened) and shared how much meeting everyone meant at this life changing event (nope, didn't happen either.)

I turned on the car radio and Eddie Vedder said it best: "heeeeyyyyy, ohhhh, I'm still alive....gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble, something about stealing bread."

DF