Flam News

Here's what the little tyke has to say:

For those who don't know, choref zman means winter semester (I guess).

Not quite school, but choref zman did start this week. It's long. Like
five months straight. And its dark like at 4:30, so it's a little
depressing. Torah still good though. Along with this pizza I had today.
Toppings included: peppers, tomatoes, onions, and eggplant. Also
discovered that the book I'm reading (The Plot Against America,
Philip Roth) has the word Adoshem spelled out in full, so
I probably can't flag it. Other than that, not much to report.
Bloggers, feel free to email me your blogs in spare time.

Have a good shabbos all,
-Sim

Then there's today's email:

At the KBY breakfast there's usually a line to get to the 30 gallon hot
water heater every morning. So today, after I mixed my instant coffee,
milk, and sugar, I skipped the line by going to the big vat of tea (lots
of brits in the school) to fill up the cup. The result: Liquid speed. I
may have stolen the idea from an episode of Step By Step, but my g-d does
that stuff give you a jolt. Crazy. For reference.
Other additions of Choref Zman include daily porridge for breakfast, which
I happen to be a huge fan of, and hourly rainstorms followed by hourly
sunshine. Tis a strange schedule. Have a pleasant winter all,
-Sim

Well, of course it was special, what did you think?

Uncle Mike brought his unbelievable voice (beautiful kiddush) along with him from Hormel, NY where he shivers while he works. (We whistle). Aunt Leesa was gracious and smiley and helpful, and Safta SLEPT OVER.

It was really fun.

We went to a Borders tonight to buy some children's books and browse and drink coffee and whatever else people do at Borders (talked too loud, sang When You Walk Through A Storm Hold Your Head Up High, or some old song like that from Carousel or was it Carnival and oh, aren't they the same?

Rachelle, help me here.

Now Leesa and Aba are watching the last game of the World Series (at least I think it's the last game). So I'm stuck blogging. What a shame.

Have a great week.

Oh, and Chammie. I saw a book on vampires and apparently the word Peeps means Vampires. You never told me. All this time I've been using this word as a shorter word for people. I feel so dumb.

Don't say it!

Mom

Never, EVER, ask me to predict the future. About the only thing I got right this season was don't forget the Twins!

Dovid's 2006 predictions (in chronological order:)

1. The White Sox, given the best offense and pitching staff in the majors, will win the World Series.
2. The Yankees, given the best line-up ever in a postseason, will slug their way to a World Series.
3. The Mets can't possibly lose to the Cardinals.
4. The Tigers are this year's White Sox.

Everything I predicted was wrong.

Congratulations: Aba, Yacov, Uncle Barry, Alex, Max, Leesa, Winnie...and the greatest fan of all...Safta.

(At least the Tigers didn't win.)

Quick Fact: In three games between the Cards and Sox this year, the former champs swept by a score of 34-11. In the last game, St. Louis Rookie Anthony Reyes (winner of Game 1 in the WS) pitched a no-hitter into the eighth, but lost 1-0 when he finally gave up the Sox's lone hit--a solo HR by Jim Thome. What does that mean now? Squat.

Are we quiet, or what? I ran over to the polsky blog and they ramble like mad!
I think it's seattlepolskys.blogspot.com if you want to crash in on them. I do, usually with a one liner that says, basically, yo.

Things in Chicago still haven't settled down. I'm feeling a little wiped out from Tishre and the 7-brachas, although having Aunt Leesa is energizing, and Aunt Winnie popped in.

Yesterday was a double header on birthdays, Aunt L. and Uncle Scot. And it's Grampa Sidney's on the 28th, although he tried to move it to Tishre, but since he probably didn't quite remember when in Tishre I left it where it is. I'll always choose the later date, think I get a choice between the solar and lunar.

That's pretty much it. The menu for Shabbas is straight from the freezer!

Love you all, Mom

Hey all you Freedman's out there - I'm in cold Chicago this week. Although I'm not getting as much done in moving Safta to a new apartment as I'd like, we're making slow progress. Hopefully we'll have a moving date set before I leave.

I was expecting weather similar to last year, and was promised temperature in the 50's but instead got cold and dreary 30's. Luckily I didn't bring a coat because I needed a new raincoat, so that was my first order of business. Last night I got to attend a beautiful and delicious sheva brachot for Yitzi Wengrow. Mark and Linda hosted this beautiful event in typically gracious fashion and their friends did a great job of serving and cooking. Rabbi Cohen spoke and actually pronounced one word of Hebrew correctly and not in ashkenazis, but he quickly made up for that by using a synonym pronounced his normal way. I really have a problem understanding the divrei Torah here.

Heshy Wengrow spoke last and went into a very detailed explanation of exactly how he knows each of the host/hostess families. Afterwards his mother said that no one likes someone who speaks too long.

Anyway I'm looking forward to Shabbat with Mark and Linda. Uncle Michael's coming in and that will be especially nice, to be here with time to talk together. And the Cardinals are winning, for a change, as long as I don't watch the game.

Love and kisses to all. The pictures of the kids are adorable and I only hope that both Avi and Beno, instead of traveling together, will find their bashert's this year and we'll have more weddings to celebrate together.

Just a quick note to tell everyone that Hannah Honey started clapping today. We've been trying to coax her into doing it for weeks, but she just started on her own while watching School of Rock... which, by the way, is a terrific comedy.

Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but it seems to me that about 6 weeks ago I went to this store's web site and it stunk. This morning I went there to sign up to be on the email list, and lo and behold, it is SO much better.

How does that happen?

Anyway, if you guys want to actually see what MargoKR is doing these days, go to RonHerman.com. If you want to get their emails, Sign Up. It only takes a second (thanks for streamlining that, sweetheart). No fuss.

Have a great week.

Love, Mom

Should be crazy.

Wengrow uff ruff and a family of 4 (a 3yr-old and a baby) are staying w/ us.

Same set up as yac/rac, UPSTAIRS, meaning I have to cover my hair (oy).

Then Sunday Aunt Leesa's coming :)

but I'll be working :(

and then there's the chasanah at some point :)

and then there's 7-brachot at our house.

So if we sound a little distant and unfocused, it's because we're a little distant and not focused. I'm probably not going to even blog, a very big step.

HAVE A FABULOUS SHABBAS, ONE AND ALL, AND IF YOU SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN, GIVE THEM A BIG HUG FROM SABA AND BUBBIE!

Love, Mom

I would argue that this week was a bust. Simchas Torah was about as fun as it can be when you attend a shul where the mean age is somewhere around 65. Some of the young marrieds tried to keep it cool, but mainly the social hall just kinda smelled like Yuntif. Samnpatty where in town which was great, and my cholesterol skyrocketed with daily doses of prime rib.

And then it was back to the horrendous reality we all know as school. Well, for Tuesday I had a short paper due on the middle class during the 1950s. The problem with a short paper about an entire decade is self-explanatory. The same day I had my "print-art" project due in my Computer Graphics class. Now this one is just interesting because we all thought the point of taking a digital graphics class was that you didn't have to actually make anything. We were wrong. My project was pretty basic, but it was a pain because I had to go to Staples to get my pictures printed, and quite frankly, they don't speak English over there and I don't speak Bavarian. I made a bizarre wedding album, juxtaposing (nice use of an Artscroll word) pictures from my wedding with some I had on my computer. The goal, to quote my art professor, "is to create something that asks more questions than can possibly be answered."

Right about then I decided that art is idiotic.

Tuesday night and Wednesday night I went through sixty pages of my 20th century Germany notes to prepare for today's midterm, which I subsequently bombed because the essays were primarily based on books that I never read and that we never discussed in class. So now I'm an encyclopedic Streudel without much of a grade to show for it. But I digress. I will say this: being a Jew and studying 20th century German history is kinda like biting your tongue...you're in pain, you're upset, and all you can say is "Weltanschauung!"

Last night was parent-teacher night at Hebrew School. I suppose it went better than last year seeing as the 6 parents who actually cared to show up didn't tell me I was doing a lousy job disciplining their child (the jist of last year's event.) I did miss how no parents came up after class to reprimand me for not telling them that there kid seemed spaced out and needed more Ritalin (also the jist of last year's event.) The Hebrew School principle (grossly incompetent) drove off the nice secretary who used to bring us donuts. Now the principle brings these gross Entemann's cakes that no one wants to eat and that sit there for months. Soon I'm going to leave a note:

"No cake."

Tonight Chamster made an apple pie and I mostly sat on my duff reflecting on how I get my score next week and have to apply to Law School, which according to the professor who's writing my recommendation, "isn't the worst thing you can do, though to be honest, nothing else comes to mind right now."

DF

If you can't fight City Hall... join 'em! (A mixed metaphor which would make Safta proud.)

Yesterday was our big election for the Neighborhood Council, during which I voted... for myself. (This picture was taken with Rachelle's camera-phone, which is why it looks kinda wonky.) I ran for the Cultural Organization Seat, and the preliminary results show that I won by 48 votes. Now, that may not sound by much, but so far as I can tell, only 403 total ballots were cast.

For those who don't know how I got involved, here's essentially what happened. Last year, the Neighborhood Council (which has no real power -- they only advise their representatives in the City Council) tried to pass a couple of ordinances which didn't sit well with the Orthodox community of the neighborhood. So some guys from shul, including our dear Yoni, ran for the council and won. This year, they convinced even more congregants to run... and a healthy grassroots campaign was enough to secure five more seats, which is more than a majority.

Ah, democracy, gotta love it. I just hope the newspapers don't get wind of this story, because the anti-Semitic local media would love to blow this out of proportion.

Well, no one really expected the Cards to last this long in the playoffs, anyway. It's been painful, at times, to watch the games, since
(1) Most of the team are shadows of their former selves (say, the team that won 100+ games some years back). This is especially true of Rolen and Edmunds (who actually came up and homered after clunking his head into the wall in #4, thus reversing a long period of foggy play since the last time he collided, ala some B-movie plot).

(2) Albert (Pujols, Chammie!) is clearly hurting.

(3) The baserunning is atrocious. This is especially painful for old Cardinal fans to watch.

(4) Even if they win the pennant, they'll be in the same position as 2004: too worn-out from a dragged-out LCS to even show up for the World Series.

(5) Linda, the venerate Cubs fan, wants both teams to suffer, but somehow the Cards even more than the Mets.

On the bright side, there's Yadier Molina, clearly someone who has been groomed all his life to play big-league ball. (any comments, Alex?)

Also, Simcha has maintained his connection with MLB: someone named "Michael from the ballpark" called the other day to invite him to join a bunch of vendors going to Detroit, where they are apparently short-staffed for the coming WS.

So, yes, I've spent waay too much time watching this stuff, when I should be doing shenayim mikra v'echad targum, according to the Rabbi, and other things like working, according to my wife. I don't know why I get sucked into this year after year. Tonight, I'll skip it and play some basketball (though they have a TV in the locker room).



Looking forward to hosting Leesa (and Michael!) this coming week. Don't forget Leesa's birthday on Oct 25 (also Pablo Picasso's, Duv).

ABA

Elan told me, in detail, about how happy he was to see little HH:

"Mommy, you wouldn't believe it. She craw-uls! And she says hi! She says it! She talks!"

Ariel nods to confirm. "Yes. She does. Baby Honey say Hi."

Me: "Is she cute?"

Elan: "She's so SO pretty! Like the prettiest she ever was! I missed-ed her so much and I was so happy to see her! And we were just playing wif her for a loong time."

Me: "Wow."

Elan: "Mommy, what will we call her when she growses up? because she'll probably 'hink Hannah Honey is a baby name when she is bigger."

Me: "It's her name. Your name stays the same. If she thinks it's babyish, maybe we'll just call her Hannah?"

Elan: "When she growses up, I'm going to tell her I remember her from when she was so teeny-tiny little. And she will laugh - she will 'hink it's so funny."

I'm sure she will. I'm also not making a word of this up.

On other notes, I'm not going to blog about my job (on OFAF) anymore, only vaguely and in reference to my relationship with the kids. Too paranoid. So if you want to know how it's going, just call me. So far, so good. Busy, but fun.

Actually, 'twas one of the most enjoyable Succots in memory for me'n'Rac'n'HH. We spent the first half in Atlanta, along with much of Rachelle's family, and then the second half in Chicago. As has been previously reported, Beno also came in, along with Chammie's mom, which made the house nicely populated but not overly-crowded. A good mix, really.

Mom made some great food and some incredible cookies, of which I ate (I'm guessing here) 98%. I saw some movies, too: The Devil Wears Prada on the flight to Atlanta... Word Play (a documentary about Crossword puzzles) on the flight from Chicago... and the Lindsay Lohan version of The Parent Trap on the CAR RIDE HOME FROM LAX. Yes, it took a little while, but Lilli's van at least has a built in DVD player. (FYI, I recommend Word Play, which I believe was in theaters for exactly thirteen minutes. It's pretty darn good.)

I also watched the Cardinals roll over and play dead for a couple of games, though at least they had the good sense to win over yontif. And they racked up another win tonight, so I can only guess that Aba wasn't watching.

And for the benefit of those who were not there, here is a joke Grandpa told us on Friday night, with some commentary from Buba thrown in for good measure.

Grandpa: "I have a joke. Actually, it's more of a riddle: what's the difference between a bigamist--"

Buba: "Oh, here we go."

Grandpa: "What's the difference between a bigamist and a monogamist? (dramatic pause) A bigamist has one wife too many. A monogamist... same deal."

(Crowd laughs appreciatively)

Buba: "I don't think that was funny."

Grandpa: "They all laughed. They thought it was funny."

Buba: "I don't like jokes which are anti-women. I just don't."

Mom: "Well, that's fine."

Grandpa: "It's just a joke!"

Just figured I'd check out the Flam News and see what all the fuss is about. I gotta say, Mom has done us proud once again. The blog looks really nice. I like the pictures idea.

I decided last minute to come for the weekend and was happy to see everyone! It was a lot of fun. HH is definitely a star and a true lady. She always smiles, never drools, and keeps her audience wanting more. Other highlights: deciding where Jake is going to college, eating all of Mom's great food, late night tea with Savta, reading a document to be named later, and learning the history of my family's living room furniture from Buba and Grandpa. Oh, and buying 4 Old Navy polos for 97 cents each. (97 cents! Can you believe that?)

Duv, I liked your LSAT description... reminds me of how I felt about the GREs. I'll bet you did fine. BTW, Duv is right about Battlestar Galactica... that show is awesome.

Is this a great year so far? Here are some photos from yuntif (chol hamoed). The ones of the spider are really in his memory. A storm took him away. You really have to see the video. It's pretty amazing.

Regards to all, near and far. We miss you.




Here she is again with Hannah the doll from Ellis Island:




And here's Spidey. There's no comparison between the two, just thought Elan and Ariel might like these shots. Have a great yuntif everyone, bug and spider free if possible!:




At night:

Or simply missing Grampa Mel, take a look at Max and G.M.

Hi, just in case you didn't get this one, here's our boy.

Gilmore Girls and Boston Legal are on tonight.
NLCS playoffs are on tomorrow night.

It's all coming together . . .

Yeah, that's where we are. Dovid and Chammie graced us with their presence, so we're pretty happy with the holiday. They look marvelous.

Aba has done an unbelievable job on the succah. We have Persian rugs hanging on the walls. I'm going out to videotape it as soon as I'm finished.

I, of course, am burning most things.

To make matters worse, I bought a Tang a lovely yellow fish, made Tang lunches, and in the process of dividing up the vegetable cubes and the planktyn and placing them in the saran wrap, forgot about him. I think I killed him within 2 hours of possession (he's not dead yet, but is on his side, so perhaps whisper a prayer.)

I had left him in the plastic bag in the tank to adjust to the water and he probably has gill damage, perhaps fatal. My excuse? Got up this morning around 4-ish, had to make the lasagna , didn't I?

So I'm pretty sad about that. This could take awhile to get over. I feel like a real murderer. (AND I'm out 30 bucks).

Chag sameach,

Love, Mom

Elan said "Dammit!" tonight. In context. It's time to clean up my language.

I took the LSAT today in La Plata, MD--which is Southern Maryland.

Let me reiterate the point: College of Southern Maryland (where I took the test) is in a cornfield.

Aaanyway, I woke up around 5 am to drive out to this place which is about 47 miles away (approx. an hour). I didn't really sleep last night, a mixture of having gone to bed too early and nerves. I distinctly remember making it up to 600 sheep between 3-3:45 am. But the insomnia didn't matter too much. I got up, and left for La Plata.

Once there, I davened in the school's parking lot. It was kinda cold, and as the security guard made his rounds and saw me wrapped in my Talis, he didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary. "Wish I brought my blanket," he said. I concurred wholeheartedly, hoping he wouldn't notice that it was 6 am, we were in a parking lot alone, and I was wrapped in leather.

Chamster made me breakfast, which included a whole wheat bagel. Needless to say, the fiber fed my nerves way more than was necessary.

Aaaanyway...

People started to show around 7:30 am, and we talked about the panic attack that we were all battling. "It's not big deal," said one guy, "it's just like, the rest of your life."

Now for a second consider who is taking the LSAT on a Tuesday morning in Charles County, a place known for its low gas prices, liquor stores, and Native American politicos. The test is normally administered on Saturdays--so you got it: it was me and a handful of other displaced Jews of different religious affiliations. Plus two African Americans; Seventh Day Adventists, I guess.

One of the kids who came about ten minutes before the test, dressed in a jeans and a green T that left nothing of his beer belly to the imagination, broke in with the words, "Chabad in the house!" He directed this to the giant Ner Israel kid, who looked just about as scared as ever that he wasn't in B-more anymore eating Mama Leah's Pizza. He then came over to me and another guy and starting talking about his masters in economics, how he's a libertarian, how capitalism rules, how...oh I forgot to care.

For the SAT, I always wanted to just get a fake ID and have Mitch take the test for me. I figured they'd never notice the staggering height difference. But they know better with the LSAT--they take your thumbprint. Which would be totally cool if, like, we were being arrested.

Because most of the family is pursuing their hopes and dreams--and I'm getting a law degree--I'll share with you the break down of LSAT. The test can take up to 7 hours, depending on how many kids. Because it was a make-up test, we finished in the minimum. There are five 35 minute sections, which include at least 1 Reading Comp, 1 Logic Games, and 2 Logical Reasoning sections. A fifth section could be any of the three, but is experimental, so it doesn't count. Except you don't really know which one is experimental, so you twiddle along thinking you did great till' you reach that one hellish section and realize the section you aced was probably experimental. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First section: reading comp (four passages, about 25 questions). Never studied much for reading comp, because it's all I do as a history major. Learned some boring (though probably fallacious) stuff about evolutionary game theory, and the anarchist movement. All was well.

Second section: logic games (four games, about 25 questions). In practice tests, I never aced a logic game section but I did this one well. Maybe I even aced it. That's what had me worried.

Third section: logical reasoning (about 25 paragraphs, each followed with a question assessing the argument). I was doing okay in this section at home, but today's LRs were impossible. After 10, it was all downhill. I scrambled to finish.

Then came the 15 minute break. Economics dude kept talking and said he wanted to start wearing tzitzit (he's conservative but has some background.) He was concerned with wearing them out though, and asked me if it was a necessity. I found it the perfect time to share my favorite Rabbi Marvin Segal story from my senior year at High School. I will indulge you all now:

Apparently back in the day, (1960s--days of rage, as Tom Gitlin remembers) kids--even in Skokie Yeshiva--didn't wear their Tzitzit out. One day, two of the frumer boys walked in with--bum bum bum--their tzizit out! When asked my my rebbi's rebbi, R. Zeleg Shtarr, why the boys were wearing their Tzitzit out, they argued that it was a big mitzvah and appropriate to show off. The wise Rabbi responded:

"Bris Milah is a big mitzvah but you don't see my showing that off!"

Back to the LSAT...2 multiple choice sections left.

Section 4: Logical reasoning. Pain in the tush again.

Section 5: Logic games...but this time, they were hard. Plus I was tired and couldn't pace myself as well. I got through three of the games, but the last one was a hybrid (combined double sequencing with grouping) and I was dead meat. To make things worse, I misread the game and the three of seven that I though I got were wrong. Realizing this at the last minute, I scrambled to change em up and guessed basically on the whole game. Hopefully I did okay on the other 3.

So which one is the experimental question is the question on everyone's mind. The fact is, I don't know for sure. It is one of the the Logic Games sections, because there is 1 RC and 2 LRs scored. So one of the two LGs, either the one I did well on, or the one I partially bombed, is the experimental section. But I have a bad feeling that the unscored section is the one I did well on (a) because it was easier, and (b) because Section 2 was the experimental section for Saturday's test according to Kaplan (granted, I took a different test.)

The last section of the test is a 35 minuted writing sample that is unscored but is sent to each law school you apply. The prompt was some claim that new night airplane flights wouldn't depreciate nearby housing because it would increase airline profits and thus lower taxes in the neighborhood. I obviously refuted the claim, but resisted the urge to say, "This claim is wrong because you are a poopy-head."

Whatever the case, I didn't pass out, I made it home, and I even blogged about it. It's over and I'm glad, and now you know not to ask...not that anyone did. After an emotional morning, we all hugged (this never happened) and shared how much meeting everyone meant at this life changing event (nope, didn't happen either.)

I turned on the car radio and Eddie Vedder said it best: "heeeeyyyyy, ohhhh, I'm still alive....gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble, something about stealing bread."

DF